Father

I shut my bedroom door hoping it would drain out my father’s voice. That didn’t help much so I took out my iPod and started listening to heavy-metal music. I opened a book and started reading it.

That’s right. I won’t lose my concentration on it after opening a book and start reading it. No matter how loud the background noise is. It just drains away and when i get absorbed to the book. That’s what I do every time my dad starts screaming like hell at me.

My father has been behaving like a berserker with a rocket launcher. I sometimes wonder what the heck is wrong with him. Oh yeah, needless to say that in the first place… I know what’s wrong with him. Let me tell you this: although not so frequently my father gets into a fit of anger (if I couldn’t call it a murderous rage) for no apparent reason. And I’m the one whom he goes berserk on.

Well, he’s tainted in rage with himself. Is there anything I could do about it? I wonder why I go submissive on him whenever he shows his aggressiveness. I ain’t a bully magnet. I guess when the time comes, when I at last couldn’t hold my anger for what he does to me.. which (the anger)I’ve kept in control for my entire life explodes, I might even kill him!!

The thought makes me sick though. He gets mad when he’s moody. But he’s my own father. He shows me love when he’s feeling good. And that’s the only thing that ties me to my self-denial. Maybe I could change him.. Maybe there’s something so wrong inside of him… eating him inside and driving him tempestuous.

I just hope my father becomes a noble man with a good attitude and mannerism. Showing him love might make him a good person…

Don’t laugh at me people; I’m not fooling with myself… I haven’t tried yet, and I’m sure if I did, I will succeed in what I’m determined to do.




The miserable teenager signs off with a sweet smile on his face…..